Build your own zona

The zona pellucida is the protective outer shell of the egg. It keeps the egg safe, strong, and intact as it begins its most vulnerable, high-stakes journey. You need a version of that too. What surrounds you - your conversations, your inputs, your emotional environment - matters. A strong zona for yourself will remove unwanted setbacks.

Here’s how to protect your own "zona" and stay clear, calm, and focused.

1. Limit unhelpful opinions
Friends and family often mean well. But unless they’ve done IVF, they probably don’t fully understand it. Advice like “just relax,” “stay positive,” or “it’ll happen when it’s meant to” can land hard.- especially when you're in the middle of injections, scans, or a two-week wait.

You don’t have to take it on. You don’t have to explain yourself. Not every opinion is worth absorbing.

→ Protective move: Create space from people who don’t get it. Share less. Or say: “Thanks for caring, but I’d rather not talk about IVF today.”

2. Curate your emotional inputs
Your nervous system is already carrying a lot. Be selective about what you're consuming - social media, group chats, online forums. Protect your peace. If something doesn’t make you feel good or grounded, mute it.

→ Protective move: Follow IVF accounts that feel honest and supportive. Mute pregnancy content if it stings. You’re allowed.

3. Choose your confidants carefully
Not everyone needs to know your step-by-step. IVF is intimate. Sharing too widely can invite unwanted pressure or follow-up questions you don’t have energy to answer.

→ Protective move: Identify one or two people who really get you. Lean on them. Keep your inner circle small, safe, and supportive.

4. Set boundaries without guilt
You’re allowed to say no - to events, conversations, or dynamics that drain you. This is not the time to people-please. This is the time to prioritise your mental and emotional safety.

→ Protective move: Practice saying: “I’m focusing on my health right now, so I’m taking a bit of space.” That’s enough.

5. Keep your focus on your path
IVF can feel destabilising at times. Everyone has an opinion, a story, a suggestion. But their path is not your path. Stay close to your reasons, your plan, your team.

→ Protective move: Journal. Meditate. Repeat your mantras. Come back to your own voice—daily.

Final thought:
Your energy is precious right now. Just like the zona protects the egg so it can thrive, you get to create a boundary around yourself - so you can thrive too.

It’s about letting in only what truly supports you. Protect your energy, thoughts and feelings. There’s a lot at stake.